prettymutherfuckinsweet...?

So at the moment, life has been prettymutherfuckinsweet. I cant explain it, theres just too much going on to sum it all up.Its just simple and great just the way i like it, with the exception of some missing people.Missing the ...loveofmylife (mr az) & my jiwa&&raga (nadia&&intan). and maybe the zen garden's people. maybe. ;)

It hurts how much I have lost myself. will get him back, i hope.So, its complicated.We have our own issues.
Its a truthful world.He makes my heart beat so fast its not funny anymore<3
Memories, blame, hurt.

Everytime I think about you, I just think about how much we had hurts.Im getting my life back on track, and sometimes when that happens, you have to leave everything behind.everything.
Things have been hard.
Things have been driving me crazy.
Things have been changing me.
Its hard to explain the relationships me have with people.To define them.When they're not around,or when they're too close.
You learn different sides. Like when you get really close to someone, u see their soft side-their untouched side, the side that will open up yourself towards them.The side that gets you thinking oh wow.The side that makes u feel the happiness of getting to be their friend.
And the side that breaks you down.The one where you get too close, and you learn their bad habits.Which annoy you. Frustrate you. Kill you.Ruin you. Ruin the friendship.
*sigh*
i wish there was something;
i could do to be able to make me feel useful.
im sorry,
that i cant do anything more.
i feel bad,
that i can do anything about it.

im in a deep mess, a hole, a big damn problem.and i cant get out.choose your friends; eliminate ur enemies.help out others; get ur heart broken.

now you can tell betweenthe traitors and the fakers