Thursday, August 28, 2008

to my no-longer-boyfriend..

to the one i used to called ...loveofmylife
u came into my life,

brings those happiness, loves and cares. the shine that brights my dark life. but my heart always questions myself. are you my distany? are you the one? are you? a million questions in mind. do i always make you happy? am i happy? yes i am happy being with you. but will the happiness last? i think it will. happy forever with you and me.

but, now you're gone. heavenly gone. just leaves me with thousands memories. sweet memories. bitter one too. thanks for those memories. ;) but i always wish for us to be us like we used to be.

now i realize, the fates that i need to face. the one i need to go through. and i know that you wasnt the one for me. wasnt the one. you belongs to that someone who much better. thousand more better than me. i could cry an hour. crying myself to sleep. remorse. regrets. but hey, shits happened.

hey, i hope you'll always be happy. with who ever the girl is. the one you loves. and care.

p/s : sorry friends. i just expressing my heart out. wahaha. luahkan sesuatu bisa melegakan kan?



Monday, August 25, 2008

kau puisi hatiku...

TUHANKU,seandainya telah kau catat dia mlikku,tercipta buatku, dekatkanlah dia padakusatu kan hatinya dengan hatiku.titipkan kemesraan antara kami agar kebahagiaan ini abadi,dan tuhanku YANG MAHA PENGASIH,seiringkanlah kami dalam melayari hidup ke tepian yang sejahtera.. tetapi tuhanku,seandainya telah engkau takdirkan dia bukan milikku,bawalah dia jauh dari pandanganku.luput dari ingatanku dan peliharakanlah diriku dari kecewanya.tuhanku YANG MAHA MENGERTI,berilah diriku kekuatan melontar bayangannya ke dada langit,hilang bersama senja merah dan gelap pekat malam agar aku rasa bahagia walalupun tanpa dirinya dan tuhanku YANG TERCINTA,gantikanlah yang telah hilang tumbuhkanlah kembali yang telah patah meskipun tiada sama dengan dirinya seandainya dia datang menemuiku dan cinta itu adalah cinta yang sejati dan suci seandainya dia pergi dan tiada menemuiku dan anggaplah cinta itu tidak wujud dari awal..

Saturday, August 23, 2008

those wedding i went was tiring...

i went to alot of people's wedding in this week. like alot!
and i did went to my exbf wedding as well. haha. sound weird but its true. helping his family preparation and stuff. omg. he's cute. still. haha. but they look soooo adorable. and nice. plus cute. and beautiful. haha. will upload some of OUR pic soon.
here some of those photos taken from the wedding i took.

this is me and my junior back in high school. kie. kak lyn my senior in high school.

and the pengantin! abg roy and nurain.

pretty isnt it? anyway, life sucks. haha. meeting people oso plain bored. but fun la. those chicks was crazy! updates later. xoxo

Saturday, August 16, 2008

i miss my BFFL<333

nombre 1 ; i missed azrul.

nombre 2 ; i missed sara.

nombre 3 ; i missed ziela.

nombre 4 & 5 ; i missed nadia & intan.
i missed my friendsforeverlove. *cough* especially nombre 2,3,4 & 5. the nombre 1, i seen him almost everyday. so not much miss-miss one la. and si PUTRI. putri bha kan sara? haha.
hope to see you all soon.
xoxo, cikKAYANGAN

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


So at the moment, life has been prettymutherfuckinsweet. I cant explain it, theres just too much going on to sum it all up.Its just simple and great just the way i like it, with the exception of some missing people.Missing the ...loveofmylife (mr az) & my jiwa&&raga (nadia&&intan). and maybe the zen garden's people. maybe. ;)

It hurts how much I have lost myself. will get him back, i hope.So, its complicated.We have our own issues.
Its a truthful world.He makes my heart beat so fast its not funny anymore<3
Memories, blame, hurt.

Everytime I think about you, I just think about how much we had hurts.Im getting my life back on track, and sometimes when that happens, you have to leave everything behind.everything.
Things have been hard.
Things have been driving me crazy.
Things have been changing me.
Its hard to explain the relationships me have with people.To define them.When they're not around,or when they're too close.
You learn different sides. Like when you get really close to someone, u see their soft side-their untouched side, the side that will open up yourself towards them.The side that gets you thinking oh wow.The side that makes u feel the happiness of getting to be their friend.
And the side that breaks you down.The one where you get too close, and you learn their bad habits.Which annoy you. Frustrate you. Kill you.Ruin you. Ruin the friendship.
i wish there was something;
i could do to be able to make me feel useful.
im sorry,
that i cant do anything more.
i feel bad,
that i can do anything about it.

im in a deep mess, a hole, a big damn problem.and i cant get out.choose your friends; eliminate ur out others; get ur heart broken.

now you can tell betweenthe traitors and the fakers

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

lovely day..lovely day..

today, me and my beloved ex-boyfriend ( dont laugh ) we went out. yes. after a month we havent meet or call. we met up. it's kinda funny but we still the 'great, great, great good friend'. well, i never thought that that im this strong to see him. BUT I DID! im stronger than yesterday. yeay! haha. im happy. im greatful. and im full of happiness. haha. we spent 6 hours together. haha. i cant stop laughing. and i miss him already. waaahhh!

we go papar, which is FAR from kk. doing stuff some works there at papar. and had our lunch together. wee.. haha. coffee friends, the lunch spot. we talked alot. we laugh alot. we talked and laugh alot. it was fun weh! haha.

kita ging bha kan ging??


Monday, August 4, 2008

im hurt..

darkness cannot drive out darkness. only light can do that.
hate cannot drive hate, only love can do that.

when u love someone, and you have to let him go, its hurt.
especially the one who give you too much hope and love, cares and faiths.

kepada awangku mohd azrul,
biarpun apa pun yang terjadi, saya tetap sayang and terus sayang kamu. you know that.
jangan berasa sunyi, kerna hati saya juga begitu. sedih, sendiri dan sunyi. mana mungkin bisa hati ini tenang tanpa kamu. just wanna let you know, i love you to death. ;)

jaga diri kamu, andai tiada khabar dari saya.